I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You are the jesus of drinking
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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