I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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