Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize