I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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