I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize