I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
