you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize