meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
