I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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