Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
