Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
