how can u be prego again
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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