I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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