he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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