it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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