So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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