Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Bring me that man meat
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
