i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
