she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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