you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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