just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
