There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
