Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
