did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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