Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
