Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If I die, sorry about rent.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
