Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My balls are so social today.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
