Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
