I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
