Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize