Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
