Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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