worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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