I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
