She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
