we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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