She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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