I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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