I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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