any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
