The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
