Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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