did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
