your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
