is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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