We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Green mimosas i think yes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
