How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
