My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
