you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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