Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
