Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
