that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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