You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I touched a dick in church today
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
