whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
