I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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