spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
