i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
