I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My penis needs a shock collar
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
