But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
