wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
