At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
