Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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