I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
