Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
