I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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