i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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