we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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