lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I need to sanitize my soul.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
