I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You are the jesus of drinking
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
