dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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