you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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