we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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