brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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