I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
