How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize