So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
