I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Is Oprah even human
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
