oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
