I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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