we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
